


Waiting It Out

by Chzu



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Emetophobia, F/F, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Power Outage, Thunderstorms, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 16:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5791981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chzu/pseuds/Chzu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss and Johanna deal with a power outage during a thunderstorm. Established, post-Mockingjay Joniss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting It Out

**Author's Note:**

> I was talking with my girlfriend and I realized that I, ultimate lesbian extraordinaire, have literally not put any femslash fics on here. So, here's one I wrote last year! This one's a bit outdated, and the characterization may be a tad off because of that... but!! It's Joniss!!! That good gay OTP. Have a nice read. :]

In its early stages, the storm was passive, and Johanna was able to get away with not paying much mind to it. She went on with her usual business, productively working around the house they shared. Katniss noticed the discomfort in her posture as she stood before Katniss, trying to get an answer out of her.

“Are you even listening, Everdeen?” Johanna shifted her weight to mask her nervousness.

“Sorry, what? I don't think I heard what you were saying just now.”

The older Victor huffed impatiently. “Figures,” she muttered under her breath, “I was telling you about the weather report. They say it's going to clear up fast.”

Katniss attempted a smile, though she was unsure of how convincing it was. She knew how upset the weather could make Johanna, and she wanted to keep her calm, if possible. “That's good…” The smile diminished, of course, when she saw the irritable look on Johanna’s face. “I mean, do you think that it will?”

Johanna abruptly plunked herself onto the lofty old Victor’s Village couch. “As good as they are at screwing up their predictions, I’m hoping that the weather people are right this time.” Though the storm was evidently having an effect on her, she didn't particularly look afraid yet. Katniss hoped, for Johanna’s sake, that the rain would clear up. She wrapped an arm around the unsettled Victor’s shoulder and stayed with her, listening to the pattering of the rain against the rooftop.

The first rumble of thunder was loud and close, and it shook the walls and floors of the house. Immediately, Johanna’s hand shot out to grab the nearest stable thing for support. This happened to be Katniss’ arm. She clung to Katniss with a fence grip, her face pale and her body motionless. There was a widened, fearful look in her wide-set brown eyes, staring off into what seemed like nothing.

Getting a bruised arm was the least of Katniss' concern. Running her free hand through Johanna's dark, growing-back-in hair, she spoke in a soft, gentle tone. “Johanna, it's just a storm, okay? It's not going to hurt you. It can't get you from in here. You're here with me. You're safe.”

Johanna had a tendency to fall silent during her dissociations, Katniss had learned. She handled her trauma differently than Katniss did; it took a lot for Johanna to become loud when it came to having panic attacks. The woman from Seven simply remained silent, the breathing shallow and body beginning to tremble with the house. The louder the thunder got, the more she shook, and the quieter she became.

Tucking her knees up and holding them to her chest, she released her hold on Katniss’ arm, assuming something of a fetal position. Johanna was unresponsive as she continued her blank stare. Only when Katniss began to speak did she turn her head toward the younger girl.

“You remember everything, right? You're Johanna Mason, you're twenty-three years old, you live in District Twelve with me, you…”

Johanna's interruption was barely audible above the sound of the rain. “Yeah, I get it. I know. I- I know where I am and who I’m with, brainless.” The common abrasive nickname came out, but the cracks in her voice made evident her misery. “I don't need to be reminded.”

Katniss pulled Johanna closer, sharing her body warmth with her. “Good to know your attitude’s still in tact.”

Johanna let out a small grumble before replying, “I-I’m fine. I can… I can handle this.”

Katniss nodded, gently caressing Johanna’s back. “I know you can. You're a Victor, right? You're a survivor. The storm should be afraid of _you_.”

That managed to get a light, halfhearted snicker out of Jo. “Right."

The rain continued its barrage on the roof, growing in volume as the rain grew heavier. Thunder rumbled outside, wind roaring above the white noise created by the water. It wasn't overly common for these sorts of storms to happen in Twelve; even though the District had been rebuilt in a lot of areas, she still couldn't help but worry about anyone with less fortunate housing. Hopefully, it wouldn't get much worse, otherwise…

“Damn it!”

Johanna's cry was in sync with a monstrous crack of thunder. It interrupted Katniss’ train of thought, causing her to startle. She watched the frightened woman with careful eyes, waiting for her next move.

"Johanna, do you want to move to a different room?" Katniss' question came out in a cautious tone.

For a moment, she thought as if the question had gone unnoticed, as Johanna made no eye contact. However, after a moment, she murmured, "I'm fine." Katniss sighed, running her hand over Johanna's.

So, she stayed with Johanna, doing what she could to comfort her. Katniss owed her that much, with everything the older Victor had gone through for her. They shared the time together, if only for a moment.

Then, there was a spark in the sky, a loud clap of thunder, and within an instant, all of the lights in the house died. The refrigerator and other electronics within the house could be heard shutting down from the abrupt cut to the power. Throughout all of this, the rain had grown heavier, the storm worsening with every flash in the sky. It was now the only sound that filled the air. Every other part of the house was completely dark. The fact that it was night didn't help.

"This isn't happening," Katniss heard Johanna mumble from beside her. "This _can't_ be happening." When she turned in her direction, she just barely saw the outline of her. From what was discernible, she seemed to be hiding her face in one of the couch's pillows.

"Johanna-"

"Katniss," Johanna's voice was clearer once she pulled her face from the pillow. She set the soft material beside her, hand grabbing Katniss' wrist. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Of course, Katniss had absolutely no way of blaming Johanna for this; how could she? Johanna had made gradual progress since she'd left the Capitol, and since she'd left Thirteen, but she was _tortured_. With water, of all things. Katniss couldn't even imagine the sort of hell she'd been through in the Capitol. All she could do was do her best to support her, in hope of actually helping in some way. In any way. "You're going to be okay. The storm will pass."

The bite in Johanna's tone was audible, and it was certain she was scowling with her response. "Yeah, but it hasn't." There was a shuffling sound, and her body weight from the couch shifted, lightening the plushy material after a moment. Presumably, she was up. "Where's the bathroom?" As she spoke, her tone only became more and more aggravated, and Katniss stood in attempt to follow once she heard a crashing sound come from Johanna's direction. "Where the hell is the bathroom? I can't see anything in this dump of a house!" Another crash of furniture sounded, followed by a string of more profanities, some of which Katniss had seldom heard before.

The noise helped Katniss locate Johanna, and she reached out to feel for her. "Hey. Will you listen to me?" When she felt the older Victor, she was shaking like a leaf. Katniss wasn't sure what body part she'd come in contact with, but it felt clothed--soft, and it was enough for Johanna to swat away Katniss' hand. "I'll lead you to the bathroom, seriously. I know my way around-" The sound of Johanna's heaving interrupted her, her labored breathing between each time her stomach expelled more of its contents. A sickly smell filled the air, and Katniss resisted the urge to succumb to any sympathetic vomiting. She placed a hand on what she presumed was Johanna's back, feeling her way up to Johanna's neck and running a hand through her hair in a comforting manner. Or, a manner in which she _hoped_ was comforting, at the very least. "Johanna…"

Johanna said nothing in response, breathing heavily. She continued to tremble, her breathing growing heavier by the second, until it a louder whimper broke through the hyperventilating. Falling backward onto the floor, let out a sob, breaking into tears in a way that was absolutely heart-shattering to Katniss.

Katniss crouched next to Johanna, wincing as her foot came in contact with something wet, but ignoring the sensation in favor of helping Johanna up. Sure, she'd seen Johanna cry, and she'd seen her puke, but _both_? How horrible Johanna must have been feeling right about now. Katniss was fortunate that Johanna's body was lighter than her own as she helped her up, keeping a firm hold on the inconsolable woman. Katniss herself was choking back tears as Johanna buried her face into her shoulder. She could've wrapped her arms around Johanna forever if it meant providing any relief from the horrible memories that haunted her. It was difficult, though, with the putrid stench that hindered this. Something had to be done about that.

"Hey," Katniss spoke gently, cupping Johanna's face in her hand once Johanna had picked her head up. Just as this happened, the lightning flashed again, giving light to the mortified look on Johanna's face, if only for the blink of an eye. This only motivated Katniss to press on. "We're going to get you cleaned up, okay? Hold tight while I get something for your face."

Johanna managed a subtle nod in response, a hoarse whipper of a, "Okay," escaping her unsteady lips.

Doing all she could to avoid any obstacles that would send them both tumbling to the ground, Katniss slowly guided Johanna and herself toward the Kitchen. When she recognized the atmosphere of the area to confirm her destination, she stepped away from Johanna. "I'm still here. I swear I'm not going anywhere. Just looking for something to use." It took a minute of blindly swatting around before the came in possession of a paper towel roll. She promptly brought it with her, walking back to Johanna. Katniss wasted no time in tearing off a sheet of the paper towel, reaching over to wipe off Johanna. As she did so, Johanna caught her wrist in a surprisingly strong grip.

"I can do it m-myself," Johanna said. Her sobbing had died down, but there was still a cracking sound to her voice, as if she could break down again at any second. Yet, she didn't. When Katniss said nothing, she used her free hand to snatch the roll of towels, only releasing Katniss once she had torn off a fairly large amount of them.

Not sure what else to say, Katniss sympathized, "I'm sorry."

"No amount of sorries will undo what happened," was Johanna's callous response. Through her good ear, Katniss could hear her her wiping the bile--among other things--form her face. She was quiet as she worked on cleaning off her face, the only other sound being that of the heavy rain. "This is awful. How am I supposed to live this way?"

"The power won't be out forever," Katniss explained. "You'll be able to do a better job cleaning once the lights come back on. I'll put back everything that got knocked down, too."

Johanna let out a deep sigh. "That's not what I'm talking about." Katniss was confused, silent as she mulled over the words. When the silent confusion persisted, Johanna elaborated, "I mean, the water. Every time it rains, it's like… It's like I'm actually in the Capitol, waiting for them to soak me, w-waiting for them to come in, and, and…" trailing off, she exclaimed, "I can't even _handle_ this! It's just water, for fuck's sake! It's pathetic! _I'm_ pathetic!"

Katniss immediately shook her head. "You're not. What the Capitol did to you, it's not your fault. It's theirs. They were the ones who were pathetic. Not you, never you." This was something that Katniss had oftentimes repeated to herself, especially during her own bouts of guilt that succumbed her on a frequent basis. It was hard to believe that it _wasn't_ her fault for the carnage and death that had resulted from her role as the _Mockingjay_. It was difficult, at times, to convince herself that it was the Capitol's fault. Yet, she knew, deep down, past the doubt, that it was. It was relevant, in Johanna's case--that it was wholly the Capitol's fault. "I can't even properly put it into words, how brave you are. Having PTSD doesn't take away from that courage."

"It doesn't make my life any more functional," Johanna grumbled, though she spoke in more of a defeated tone than one of malice. "I hate what they've done to me."

"If you're willing to let me help, I'll work on it with you. I've been…" there was some hesitation in Katniss' words. "I've been working on moving on, myself. Trying to come to terms with everything that's happened to me. Maybe we could do the same with you."

Katniss could hear the sound of ruffling fabric, and she just barely made out the outline of Johanna, who was removing her shirt. Tossing on the ground, Johanna replied, "It's not going to go away with a magical snap of your fingers. I'm not sure if you realized this, but trauma doesn't work that way."

Frowning at the patronizing tone Johanna spoke in, Katniss narrowed her eyes. "I know, _brainless_. I realized that when I was eleven. It takes time, and this would, too. It might not even work. We could still try, though. Together."

"Yeah, maybe…" Johanna murmured. "I guess we could, some time. Not now, though. Right now, I need to get rid of these _puke-scented clothes_. Are you _okay_ with that, Everdeen?"

Katniss rolled her eyes at Johanna's snarky response. "I haven't stopped you from stripping before, have I?"

Johanna let out a noise that resembled a weak chuckle, bending over to pull her pants down from her body. The rest of her soiled outfit was soon to follow. "Touché. I got a lot of vomit on this outfit, though. I might have to burn it."

At the mention of burning, an idea went off in Katniss' mind. "Hey, do you remember where you last left the matches?"

Johanna cleared her throat. "Wait, no. You _aren't_ burning my clothes. I didn't seriously mean that!"

"No, no!" Katniss replied quickly. "I wanted to light the candles. You know, so we can see."

For a few moments, Johanna was silent. "…Right. I think I left them on the counter. A little to the… left, probably."

Katniss made her way to the counter, setting down the roll of paper towels and searching for the matches. It took quite some time before she was able to stumble upon them,  and when she did, she made it a priority to walk back to Johanna, holding onto her and guiding her back to the living room. She found some dusty candles in some of the old candles, setting them out by the couch. Striking one of the matches, Katniss let the light illuminate the room, sharing the calm flames between the five candles she'd managed to find. Johanna watched her quietly, a distant but vaguely curious look in her eyes. Katniss couldn't help but notice how lovely those brown eyes of Johanna's were, especially with the reflection of the candle light hitting them.

"You look beautiful," Katniss breathed, fixated on Johanna.

After she sat herself back upon the couch, Johanna made a disgusted expression that was perhaps a bit exaggerated. "Don't be a sap."

Katniss let out a low chuckle, but her expression soon sobered. "Are you going to be okay?"

Johanna pursed her lips together, beginning to fidget with her fingernails. "I'll get back to you on that once I figure the answer out myself."

"I'll be here with you, until then." Katniss followed in sitting next to Johanna, draping her arm around her. The older Victor's tremors had died down significantly, though she was still noticeably unstable. "You won't be alone."

Johanna sighed, resting her head against Katniss. Soon enough, the two lay together on the couch, wrapped in each others' warm embrace. With nothing else to do, they waited it out for the rest of the night, until the power was restored.

Katniss would worry about cleaning up at a later time.


End file.
